House Rock” Entertainment Complex, Video
Production Company & Luxury Crackhouse Condos Open in Mid-City
Crack City, LA – The Krewe of Space Age Love, Orleans Parish
Prisoner Investment Consortium & Gusman Almighty Seductions
Unlimited are very high on Jail House
collaboration club, video production company and luxury crackhouse
condos recently opened in the new Mid-City financial extortion
as Gusman is also known, was elated at the response from the area
residents when he debuted the one-stop shop concept of stay, play and
pay. Prisoners will now be called residents and can earn such perks
as good time Bourbon St. passes, in your cell lap dances, the ever
popular crack pack or the Big Kahuna – their very own party video
by New Crack Productions. OPP
and GAS-U are proud to introduce Hankton Towers luxury crack condos.
The Phat Cat Condo comes with a 52 inch screen surround sound system,
bodyguard, stripper of choice, hookah/ganja room, crack bar, jacuzzi,
sound proof bathroom, and WiFi, The Po-Cat Condo comes with a 19 inch
B&W TV, a number three wash tub, two crack pipes, a roommate
named Stud and a sample from the Phat Cat in cell number one, Plans
for the Entertainment Complex include a new production of Elvis's
Jail House Rock and an ex-con mentor program. Scheduled
for the GAS mentor program are such notables as, Greg Meffert, Oliver
Thomas, Bill Jefferson and the ever popular, Papa Edwin Edwards. The
new production of Jail House Rock will include a few inmate favorites
such as, Are You Lonesome Tonight, Pound Dog, Love Me Tender, Let Me
Be Your Teddy Bear and of the new unreleased long lost Crack House
will ensure a constant flow of guest and also provide transportation
for any resident with a Phat Cat GAS Pass to and from Bourbon St, the
Lower Nine, Central City and Algiers. OPPs Gus Party bus will be
complete with video streaming, crack bar, hookah cafe, wet bar and
stripper pole. Housed
within the Jail House Rock complex is New Crack Mall where residents
can enjoy a meal at Amsterdam Bisto, Hard Rock Cafe or Cracky Cheese.
The White House Emporium is a popular one-stop shop offering
favorites like rock candy, brownies from Kind Bud industries,
Absinthe of Malice and the very popular NOLA Rum Drop Soup.
Pharmacia & Barber Shop will be very popular with the residents
with their line of generic and brand name pharmaceuticals. Mr.
Hankton guarantees all product, custom crack pipes, syringes and
miscellaneous supplies to be of the highest quality. Barber Shop
Special with purchase and free shiv to the first ten customers,
residents may also enjoy conjugal visits at Mr. Binkys Pleasure Dome
in the malls family center. Friendly guards in Elvis attire
available 24/7 for all guests.
an effort to improve drug and community relations, cut down on street
crime, and establish a path for crackheads to invest in their
community, Jail House Rock will be using the Spread the Love business
plan offering local crackheads the opportunity to invest in Hankton
Towers and enjoy the high of being a happy Hankton Towers Condo
police and court systems are 100% behind such an ingenuous plan that
won't require the court system, lawyers, bail bondsmen or extensive
and expensive police action. All condos come with a free cell phone
and a lifetime membership to the Crackhead Community Center. Mr.
Gusman is once again to be commended for his social insight and
OPP and Gusman Almighty invite you to the grand opening of our Jail
House Rock complex at 6:30pm on February 15, 2014. The first 940
guests will receive a free crack pack and a copy of The Ganja
Chronicles, the autobiography of Indian Red.